my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
