is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
