oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
