What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
