i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
