I don't usually arrange sex via text message
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
