Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
