i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
where am i from again
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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