He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Is it penis luge time yet?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
