i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
