im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
