Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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