Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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