Are we in a gay sports bar?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
