My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
