Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
