The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
