I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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