Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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