Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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