Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
