i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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