No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
