Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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