I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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