OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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