ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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