Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
