Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
only if we run a train.
done.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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