I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
