we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
