So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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