Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
