Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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