There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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