sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just found puke in my bra..
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
