Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
