In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
