Christians are straight up FREAKS
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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