woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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