Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
