I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
