good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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