You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize