it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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