Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
