just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
