tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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