Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
