you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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