He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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