I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
one might say we're banned from that church
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
