I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
When are your genitals available?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
