either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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