I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize