I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize