Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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