I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
