We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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