Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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