I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
