I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
