I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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