whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's never too late to be topless.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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